When the decision to divorce is made, the most important question couples with children consider is what is best for their children. Loving parents want what’s best for their children, but negative feelings between spouses can make it difficult to make the right decisions. During divorce, parents may compete for their children’s feelings. They might feel they are the better parent and should be the primary caregiver, but that may not be true.
Research Shows Shared Parenting Best for Children
What we do know is that shared parenting is best for our children. Commenting on research results from the 2017 International Conference on Shared Parenting, National Parents Organization’s Founder and Board Chair, Ned Holstein MD, states, “The scientific evidence is crystal clear: Children with shared parenting after parental separation or divorce show better grades in school, better social adjustment, less drug and alcohol use, less truancy and delinquency, and better overall health. They desperately want and need both parents.” The information comes from research presented at the conference by such institutions as, The American Psychological Association, The Journal of Epidemiology & Community Health and The Association of Family and Conciliation Courts.
Flexible Parenting Arrangement
Shared parenting is defined as a flexible parenting arrangement after separation or divorce where the child spends at least one third of the time, and as close to equal time as possible, with each parent, assuming both parents are fit and there has been no domestic violence.
Making Shared Parenting Successful
In setting up a shared parenting arrangement, communication is most important. Even in the best of situations, it may be difficult for two people so invested in the divorce to remain unbiased. There may be issues that cause contention. One of the best ways to assure a successful shared parenting arrangement is to enlist the help of a neutral third party. An experienced mediator will guide and assist you in finding a fair and supporting parenting plan. Unlike the cold and often non-personal court room, mediation provides a safe, supported, and relaxed atmosphere to make your decisions. All options are explored. Issues are resolved in a timely manner resulting in no winners or losers, just good decisions for the happiness of your family.
To learn more about the mediation process, complete our request for a free online evaluation, and to receive a free 30-minute phone consultation, visit us at www.afairway.com, or call 760-227-5090 / 619-702-9174.
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