You've had a co-pilot for years, and now you're flying solo. Divorce is a jarring transition no matter who initiated the change, so don't be surprised if loneliness creeps in. You've had your spouse by your side long enough to get accustomed to his presence. Learning to be alone again and to love it is one of the challenges after a divorce.
Ways to Deal with Loneliness
Remembering the Joy of Being Alone
To be happy after a divorce, you must learn the joy of doing things by yourself and for yourself, according to divorce experts Grier Raggio and Michael Stutman. If you don't engage in this learning process, you may begin a desperate search for another relationship without clearing out the baggage left over from the previous one. To bring healing, the months after a divorce should be dedicated to getting to know yourself as a single person.
Rediscovering Yourself
Journaling, meditating and taking long solo walks on the beach are all ways to remember who you are and what you love. It's easy to forget parts of your authentic self when you are in a long-term relationship, since compromises are necessary to keep harmony. Make a list of activities you really love; then do one of them every day. Buy a book you've always wanted to read and put it in on your pillow for nighttime reading. Engaging with your deepest interests reminds you of the truly spectacular person that you are, according to divorce writer and blogger Jackie Pilossoph.
Reclaiming a Support System
Everybody needs a support system, and having one moves higher on your priority list after a divorce. According to family therapist Mary Jo Rapini, after a divorce it is important to see your family and best buddies more often. Taking a class on the weekend will both get you out of the house and allow you to meet new people. Another way to tackle the loneliness is to join a support group and interact with other newly divorced people. Be sure the focus of the group is on renewal of self rather than bashing former spouses.
Building Relationships
Take time to make and develop friendships after a divorce, and hold off on romance until the loneliness passes. A longing for sexual contact at this stage may be simply a function of loneliness, an expression of the human desire to be touched and held. The love lavished on you by friends, kids and pets may provide enough contact to sustain you until you are emotionally ready for the dating scene again. Proceed with dating only when you are comfortable going out with potential love partners.
About A Fair Way Mediation
A Fair Way Mediation Center offers a relaxed, compassionate atmosphere in an informal setting that encourages a calm and objective approach. This is a safe space that avoids the stress and embarrassment that courtroom procedures can inject into any divorce or separation. All couples are welcome, including traditional or same sex families.
https://news.divorceforce.com/how-to-deal-with-loneliness-after-divorce-1943524728.html
<< Back to Articles