Preparing to Leave an Abusive Financial Situation? Here are 4 Things to Consider

March is National Credit Education Month, and April is Financial Literacy Month

To mark these two awareness months, we’re taking the time to educate and remind others about financial abuse.

 

Financial abuse, also known as economic exploitation, can come in many shapes and forms. It’s a manipulation tactic used to assert dominance over a victim through exploitation, sabotage, and theft. Some common indicators of financial abuse include, but are not limited to:

 

Stealing or withholding partner’s money

Controlling partner’s accounts and assets

Opening accounts and lines of credit in partner’s name without permission

Sabotaging partner’s employment or academic opportunities

Racking up debt in partner’s name

 

Long-term effects of financial abuse can include damaged credit and severe debt. This can make it difficult to find employment and even proper housing, as mortgage loans and renter requirements may be hard for victims to qualify for.

 

No one is safe from financial abuse. All races, age groups, and wealth statuses can easily fall to this form of manipulation. In fact, 99% of domestic violence victims experience some form of financial abuse in their relationships.

 

Leaving an abusive relationship is a hard challenge to overcome, especially when economic exploitation is involved. Many victims fear homelessness, poverty, and not being able to provide for their kids, or even themselves. If you or a loved one is experiencing economic exploitation, it’s important to leave the relationship as safely as possible. Here are steps to take when preparing to leave a financially abusive relationship.

 

 

Checking your finances regularly can allow you to understand your current financial health, halt the damage made by a partner, and make any necessary amendments to it. If you suspect any form of abuse, it’s imperative to check your current financial status before you leave. Many victims of financial abuse don’t even know they’re being exploited until much too late. When beginning the process of assessing your financial situation, it’s important to manage your fears. Navigating through this time can be frightening, especially when seeing how much abuse you’ve actually endured.

 

If your finances have always been taken care of by your spouse, accessing them may seem impossible. If that’s the case, start small, by looking at some of the expenses that you know of, such as your credit card bill and any living expenses you may have. In addition to that, look at your credit report to better understand how much and to whom you owe money. If possible, start paying off these debts to minimize the amount before you leave. If you’re on a joint account or even a co-signer, call the lender to see if you can be discreetly removed from the account. This won’t diminish your debt, but it’ll prevent your debt from further accumulating.

 

 

Important documents include you and your kid's passports, birth certificates, SSN cards, bank statements, ownership documentation, and more. Anything with financial, personal, or private information should be gathered and hidden away safely from an abusive partner. To keep these documents safe, consider placing them into a safe that only you have access to.

 

If your partner is in control of your personal documents, do what you can to safely make copies of them. This doesn’t have to be a professional copy, just taking a picture on your phone will be fine. These documents will assist you in getting aid and providing evidence if legal action must be taken. Furthermore, having this information will allow you to be ready to get the fresh start you need.

 

 

If your partner is financially abusing you, it may be hard to earn and save money without them interfering. Before you leave the relationship, try your best to make and save cash for yourself, so you have a financial cushion. Some ways to do this include selling personal belongings, borrowing money, or getting a job that pays in cash. If you don’t feel comfortable or aren’t able to hide large amounts of cash, consider taking the money you get and buying a prepaid visa card. This way, you can easily hide your money from your partner and discreetly take it with you when you leave.

 

Financial abuse often has a severe impact on your credit and financial status as a whole, which negatively affects your ability to reach any large goals or investments you set for yourself. For instance, poor credit and having a lot of debt can prevent you from getting a new space on your own and will directly impact how much mortgage you can afford, which is why it’s critical to have your own money saved up. Having some savings built up will make the transition on your own easier, and will ensure you aren’t dependent on your partner. It’s important to educate yourself on not only improving your own financial literacy, but also researching how others have dealt with financial abuse. Utilizing your resources and finding ways to learn how you can earn and save money for your situation allows you to become more confident in yourself and being on your own. Understanding how to become financially literate is a crucial skill to know and one that you should continually invest in.

 

 

Leaving a financially abusive relationship is challenging. When you leave, it’s important to go to a safe place and have a strong support system. While you may not be able to get a place of your own, you can reach out to trusted friends and family to get shelter and support during this time.

 

While you’re building yourself and your finances up, seek out a trusted person or domestic violence organization for housing and financial assistance. It’s important that you create a good support system around yourself when going through this difficult time, as it’s very emotionally draining. Ensuring that you’re in a safe place, surrounded by people you can trust, will help to ease your fears while going through the process of leaving this relationship.

 

 

The steps listed above will help protect your finances from further damage. However, in addition to these steps, it’s important to take the time to assess your situation and come up with an exit plan. An exit plan will allow you to thoroughly map out how you’ll leave, provide guidance during the event, and will help prevent any additional harm.