BEFORE YOU DECIDE ON DIVORCE MEDIATION MAKE SURE IT’S RIGHT FOR YOU

Divorce Mediation is not just a way to keep the cost of divorce down, though lower cost is a major benefit of mediation. Divorce Mediation also minimizes the emotional upheaval that often comes with divorce. In mediation, the professional mediator is an understanding, unbiased third party that carefully guides couples through each issue of the divorce, deflecting any potential animosity, and leading the way to a conflict resolution that is acceptable to both spouses.

Divorce mediation can only be effective if both spouses have bought into the process and are willing to work together peacefully. Both spouses must want the same outcome for mediation to work. Here are some guidelines to consider before you make your decision:

Both Spouses Agree Divorce is the Right Decision
One of the most important prerequisites for good divorce mediation is that both of you agree that it is the right thing to do. No one has been surprised, or is against the divorce. Neither spouse wants a reconciliation. This means you have discussed the issue at length, maybe over a period of months, you might have even tried to make the marriage work, but you’ve both concluded that divorce is right for you. You understand mediation and feel that it is the best way for both of you to negotiate a “kind” divorce.

Transparency in All Issues
One of the most important issues of divorce is transparency in all financial issues. Both spouses should fully understand all joint financial issues. This includes property, joint accounts and investments. Nothing should be hidden and there should be no surprises when you go into mediation. You’ll need to bring your financial information to the mediation.

Good Working Relationship
For mediation to work its best, you and your spouse should have a good working relationship. You each need to contribute input to the mediation. It’s important that you are on equal ground, no spouse is intimidated by the other and each spouse is ready to give equal input. The mediator is an efficient coach, but you both need to provide the input to start the process.

No Past Physical Violence or Drug or Alcohol Abuse
If physical violence has been a part of your marriage, mediation is probably not right for you. Experience shows the difficulty for a victim of abuse to negotiate with an abuser without intimidation or duress. Alcohol or drug use can impair the ability to make decisions and to think clearly. Both undermine the success of mediation and are not appropriate.

Best Practices for Children
If there are children involved, mediation is one of the best ways to negotiate an agreement for the care of your children. If you are already agreeable to the above ideas, then you’ve probably already discussed such issues as visitation, joint parenting, and education. You know each other’s parenting styles and feel confident they are right for your children. Coming into the mediation both spouses want what is best for the children and each other.

Mediation can give you peace of mind. Contact A Fair Way Divorce Mediation and request a free online evaluation, or to receive a free 30-minute consultation, visit us at www.afairway.com, or call 619-702-9144.