YOU'VE DECIDED TO DIVORCE - HOW TO TELL FRIENDS AND FAMILY

Divorce is certainly an emotional experience for the couple getting the divorce, but it can also be an emotional experience for the family and friends that are closest to them. Whatever their view of it, people usually have strong opinions about divorce which influence the way they react to it. Divorce can evoke heavy emotions and force changes in relationships with family members and friends. Friendships and family alliances that worked when you were a couple, may no longer work after a divorce. Those who want to offer support to the couple may feel awkward about how to do it. They don’t want to appear to take a side.

The way you tell people about your divorce may depend on what type of personality you have. Extraverts are may have no problem sharing the details with all their friends, but a more private introvert, may only want to share their divorce with the people closest to them. Couples need to decide how they want to announce the divorce: Do we tell others together or alone? Is a phone call or email enough, or should the announcement be made in person? Who do we tell and in what order? What feels comfortable to you? So, how do you diplomatically share the news of your divorce? Here’s what the experts say:

1. Plan and Write What You Want to Say

Whether you make the announcement together or solo, most divorce experts say it’s best to plan what you are going to say. Whether your plan is to send the information or present it in person, write out the details you wish to share. If sharing in person, practice what you plan to say until you feel comfortable and confident.

2. Keep it Positive and Share Only What Feels Comfortable

Consider how much you want to share about the divorce and the feelings of your audience. Children and parents will require a different approach than friends, as will bosses and co-workers. Everyone doesn’t need to know everything. There’s no need to share any uncomfortable issues of your divorce, instead concentrate on the positive---“we want to remember the positive side of our marriage,” “we both agree this is the best for us,” “we appreciate your support.” This is your chance to make everyone, including yourself, feel OK about your divorce.

Contemplating a divorce? A Fair Way Mediation can help. Complete our request for a free online evaluation, or to receive a free 30-minute consultation, visit us at www.afairway.com, or call 619-702-9144.